Allen Cash's living with Diabetes

It's hard to not feel when feelings is all I can feel. 8/31/2014  This post is just me trying to express this lonely and disconnected feeling that seems to be overwhelming. I suppose I'm just in whiny mode and it will pass like gas...i think? I'm not too concerned over what this doctor ay infectious diseases will tell me. I'm not even worried what the oncologist will tell me. However it all turns out I know I will accept it and do what I need to do. Still no matter how strong I think I am or how in control I want to be, I am still human. I can't help but feel alone and isolated. It's not that I don't have support in Dale because I know I do but still... with his health issues it seems unfair to him to be so supportive over my stupid body. I have a lot of guilt there when it comes to the man I love and has loved me back. As selfish as this seems... I wish my friend David Powers was still around so I can have someone I can vent too honestly without feeling...

Weird readings and appointments, appointments, appointments. 8/27/2014 Happy Hump Day all! The last few days my blood sugar readings have gone up and it has seemed to have stabilized in the 150's. Very frustrating but nothing to get too upset over. I am slowly learning what to eat and what not to eat, so with that in mind I know it will take time and a whole lot of patience when it comes to my readings. Diabetes is already a confusing deal, so I see no reason to allow it to make me insane. OR more insane in my case :) On another topic... I went back in the Cancer Center yesterday to get my test results. So far everything looks okay. Not great but okay. I am still waiting for one more test results that was not ready yet when I went in yesterday. In the meantime I have a appointment this morning with a Infectious Disease Specialist which means they will want a few gallons of my sweet blood to test for whatever they test for. The oncologist/ hematologist doctor also wants to do...

A Self- Destructive Day. 8/21/2014 So I woke up to high readings yesterday of 122. Now I know thats still not that bad to warrant a melt down but that is after about 12 hours of not eating and what I did eat was very low in carbs. I ate 85 grams of carbs and around 1600 calories. I honestly expected my number to be much lower. As my morning progressed, I ate two whole wheat english muffin sandwiches with turkey sausage and egg white. I waited two hours to retest and my number went up even more. The test came out with almost 200 for my Blood sugar level which needless to say, discourage me to no end. I tested myself again 2 more hours later and it still read 200. At that point I just gave up and started  eating anything and everything. I did not bother to test anymore the rest of the day. When you work so hard to inform yourself and do the right thing to be better and suddenly nothing makes sense you feel like it's all a waste of time and work. It actually isn't. If I had be...

Another Quick Update 8/17/2014 Hey guys, For the last few days my blood sugar level is getting lower every day while my energy level is going up! This morning it was 109! I give credit to the Invokana increase and the low carb diet I am on. I'm pretty happy with the low numbers but at the same time I have to make sure I eat properly to avoid sugar crashes. It's always some balancing act to deal with when it comes to Diabetes isn't it? it's all good because for now.. I feel great. I am still waiting on the test results form the massive amounts of blood I spilled for the cancer center. I have a feeling they won't find anything but you never know. The doc says if everything comes out negative then it wants to send me to a specialist for Infectious diseases. He says there must be a reason why my white blood count is high. The last time my doc check my W.B.C it came in much lower...around 1300. The test before that it was 1700. If I understand it right... it should...

8/4/2014 I can honestly say that for most of my life I have never taken prescription drugs. Well... when I was younger I dabbled with some drugs but nothing really hard core. I never really got into the drug thing because I don't like not being in control with myself. It's not that I NEED to be in control all the time but lets be honest... most people can not be trusted. Drugs for me was a way to cause me to let down my guard around people I would normally not trust with my safety. I like to have a good time as long as I can trust those around me. Anyway my point being is that when I first started seeing a doctor I knew I would have to simply trust this person with my life. Now for me... that is so much harder than it sounds. I knew I would be on meds for my blood pressure ,cholesterol, Anxiety and Diabetes. It is a serious reality check to know you need meds to stay alive. Trust has no real bearing with this new reality. It is a fact I am learning to accept. So when my doct...

7/31/2014 Food change and Med change OH MY! Well guys… this has been a week of ups and downs. Mostly ups. I started to work on my diet a bit by calories counting and focusing more on Carbs. Right now my calories count is 1800 and my Carbs are 60 Carbs per meal. I am using the tools my Dietitian gave me in order to help lower my blood sugar and my weight. I think it’s working already. My Blood sugar has been under 200 the last couple of days with the exception of this morning because… I was bad yesterday. VERY bad! So with bad eating habits comes higher numbers. My blood sugar this morning was 221 which prove to me that this new way of eating is a good way of getting things under control.  It also tells me how serious I need to take things. Portion size and balanced meals is the key to better eating and a healthier body. It really is hard to understand the complete science behind how food does affect us but just knowing a little can make a big difference with how we see oursel...