Allen Cash's living with Diabetes

7/27/2014 Diabetes Education (Part 2) BUSTED! Well kiddies it would seem my body  isn't  interested in learning. Yep...I ended up in the E.R again but this time they kept me over night. I have never stayed in a hospital ever in my life! Okay this is what went down.  I got there pretty early so I can get settled in and stay in a relaxed mood. They came down to admitting to wheel me to class. I was the first one in class so I got to set up my laptop and my other junk to be ready for class. It was nice and quiet and relaxing. I felt positive minded and was ready to learn. Just like last time… I sat there listening to the instructors and I started to feel nauseous and light headed. I ask to be excused and one of the teachers (Carol) walked me to the men’s room. I wobbled me way into the bathroom and saw a chair. I sat down then decided I would need to lay on the floor and prop my feet up on the chair to get the blood back to my head and to even out my blood flow. C...

7/24/2014 Diabetic Education ( part 2 ): “Will I make it this time?” I'm  in a pretty decent mood for now. You know how it can be some days. One moment “HI Lets Party’ and the next “Go fuck yourself”. It’s insane but it is what it is. A couple of days ago I had a sudden drop in sugar levels which was freaky. However the levels were 181 which is still high but normally it’s around 260, It happened so fast it kind of scared me. I did not know what to do. The levels were still too high at 181 so I did not know if I should eat or be happy I was below 200? I think the only reason why it made me sick was because it did drop mighty fast. In all honesty I had eaten since breakfast and it was a big bowl of multi grain cereal. I would say it was about 6 hours since I last ate. I guess I will have to make myself eat more often so I don’t have sudden crashes. Today I go back to Diabetes class and I am in a much more chilled state of mind than the last time. It was a disaster last time....

7/19/2014 Feeling better but not “Party!” better. I woke up at 2 am this morning feeling restless but not really crappy. Actually I am feeling clear headed for a change. I just finished my whole wheat bagel and a couple of bananas for my breakfast. I took my large collection of vitamins and meds and now I am sitting here listening to Coldplay and relaxing. Oh… I am sure this is a waste of time due to the fact I have no idea if anyone actually reads this blog but just in case…  Does anyone know a good vitamin to help Diabetics with energy level? As if I need more pills but I think this may be necessary. My energy level is so out of whack the last few weeks. I have to do something because this is making me bit nuts. I have been told that B-12 was good for energy but I thought I would put this out there and see what you all think. Any productive information would be awesome. So… back to the topic at hand. I had a rough day yesterday but I am feeling a lot better emotionally. ...

7/18/2014 Powerless Just a fair warning… this post is going to be a dark and whiny one. After waking up in a fairly decent mood yesterday it did not take very long for it to turn to shit. I was setting in the lobby at The West Florida hospital waiting for Dale to have his stitches removed from his biopsy a couple of weeks ago. I settled down with my coffee and as I sat there I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. My hands starting to tremble and my breathing started to become shaky. My vision started to blur a bit and I knew either I was crashing or I was having an Anxiety attack.  There was a nice spot to sit outside of the coffee shop I was sitting near to so I went outside to try and relax. There was no one else there so it was perfect. I finally chilled out and came back in. By that time Dale was done and was ready to go. I thought I was in the clear but then my mood started a downward spiral. I just shut down and had no interest in anything around me. All I want...

7/17/2014 Support groups for Diabetes on Face Book. The last couple of days I have been feeling a bit on the depressed side. I thought I would give some of the support groups on Face Book a try just to have a real conversation of how I was feeling. One group is called “So you know you’re a Diabetic when…” struck my fancy and decided to join and post. Just to see if it was an active page with real people and not these obsessive folks that just to gain attention. I got into a nice chat with two nice folks Ed and Roxie. The conversation was much more productive than I would have thought it would be. I got some really good information from both of them. I actually felt a bit better after the chat was over. It’s kind of a big deal to me because I am always questioning people’s motives but at the same time I am trying to learn to “Trust”. This is not an easy task for an old fart like me. I have to admit… I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being more open. I mean… I  wasn't ...

7/15/2014 Just a quick update so here we go… I went to do my E.R follow-up yesterday with my doc and it  wasn't  really a very informative or eventful visit. He wants to check up blood again to see what my blood count is and to see if it is back to normal. I am guessing he wants to do this before he decides if I need a cardiologist or not. So far I have no real expiation on what happen to me last week at the Diabetes class. It’s madding how we are always forced to play the waiting game. I did speak with him about my bouts of depression and then anxiety I have been dealing with. Of course he was very quick to suggest a med for my…. moodiness. Lexapro is what he wants me to start on. I am honestly not sure if this is something I want to do. It’s really not a matter of pride or anything like that. I just don’t know enough about medications such as this to Trust it. I am going to do some research on this today and see what I can find out. I have heard good things about ...

7/12/14 Good Morning/Evening All, I have been thinking about how to get a real rhythm going for this blog to make it more focused and neat but… I am way too scattered brain to do that right now. Besides if I get too much on the negative of this Diabetic path I am on… it will just make my temper worse. That is one thing I have noticed the last few weeks about myself. I tend to become agitated easily. I mean I get that way over the most pointless shit. Here is a quick example… T.V commercials, dropping things, not finding something I am looking for… etc. Being frustrated is one thing over these small issues but to get all out angry is a bit weird. I am aware of this happing but I can’t seem to make myself stop and breath and just relax. My energy level (or lack of) isn’t helping either. I don’t know if these extreme mood swings are because of the Diabetes or I’m just a asshole. This past Thursday morning I was to start my Diabetes Education class. I was up very early that day and we...

Greetings Everyone, My Name is Allen Cash. I am originally from Savannah Georgia but I spent most of my adult life in Atlanta Ga. I moved to Pensacola FL, to be with my partner Dale Cash in 2004. After 10 years together we were married in Pikesville MD April 16 th 2014. We are still living Pensacola for the moment. 2014 has been a tough year for us both. Between losing our Mastiff “Bear” to bone cancer, Dale diagnosed with osteoarthritis and me diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2 and dealing with all the little neat things one has to deal with in everyday life…. It’s been insane! However, we have endured 3 hurricanes, and I think 3 crazy tropical storms and all the wonderful mess and damage they left behind and yet… we are still standing. For me Diabetes is a life changing disease that is not only confusing but it has the potential to destroy one’s emotional stability. The constant stress of dealing with the corporate mindset of the medical industry and the constant battle between what M...